Good friends

There is nothing better than a good friend!

I'm talking about the kind of friend who is there for you and who loves you through thick and thin. The kind who looks at you and still sees you without the added pounds and the gray hair. The kind who remembers the flirtatious 20-something, yet is comfortable with the more mature (hopefully) you. The kind who knows all your secrets and foibles-- and loves you in spite of them.

My friend LuWane flew up from San Diego to spend the weekend with me before I start the chemo merry-go-round. She is that kind of friend.

She rode shotgun when we drove around gawking at homes in fancy neighborhoods, discussing the finer points of convincing slow-moving boyfriends to show more commitment. She's also the one who, after getting married, came back to report "she never understood just how easy it was to get married!" At this stage of my life, I can't remember that she imparted that knowledge to the rest of us. If she did, I must not have applied her formula.

I'm the one who was on the other end of the phone when her future husband finally knocked on her door. It was a blind date, set up by a mutual friend, and Mark, who is unfailingly punctual, was 15 minutes late! Neither one of us was particularly enamoured with going on blind dates. The guys were always such jerks that it made us nervous to ask ourselves what the mutual friends must think of us to set us up with that kind of a guy. Was it just that we were both single-- or did they really think that the idiot was someone that matched our personalities?

We've laughed ourselves sick and cried on each other's shoulders. We've shared and appreciated each other's talents and passions. We've traveled the world's cuisine through new ethnic restaurants. We've gone to plays and art museums and had deep philosophical discussions.

This weekend we've shopped and went for a long ride in the mountains to see the beautiful fall leaves. I played the new and interesting role of fashion police, who refused to allow her to buy one more item of clothing in a solid color. What I appreciate most is that we've just talked and talked and laughed and renewed our friendship!

Superheroes find joy is the primary reward of friendship. Friends stick with each other when times are rough, when the bonds of friendship are strained to the limits-- because they know the rewards will make it all worthwhile. They are the real deal; the friendship is based on reality, on everyday give-and-take-- and the determination to see each other through.