It's been awhile since I've written, so let me explain how my life has changed in the past few months. My life no longer seems like my own. My schedule seems to revolve around little Samantha Dustbunny. Except for the hours that I am away from home, she is constantly at my side, demanding my attention in one way or another.
Sammie is a people magnet. We go walking through the neighborhood shortly after I arrive home from work every day. Despite rumors that small dogs are not good with children, this little Shih Tzu/Yorkie mix loves EVERYONE! As we walk the neighborhood, she is drawn to the children every bit as much as they are drawn to her. But even I was amazed when one older woman with whom I was unacquainted came running from her house to meet Sammie. She had seen us from her window and loved Yorkshire terriers and wanted to see her up close and personal. We have come to know by name some of the more macho-looking teenage boys, as well as the smallest child.
That is the thing about Sammie. She is impossible to ignore! When she greets someone, her whole body shakes with excitement. Now that she is a mature 6-month old, she has learned not to overwhelm small children with her enthusiasm most of the time. When we began our walks and she would jump up on them, I would explain that Sammie loved people, especially children. Now as we walk down the street, the moment a child sees us, I hear "Sammie!" as they come running. The other day, we were greeting some of the young women of the neighborhood on one side of the street, while Michael who is nearly 4 called to us from the other side of the street-- "Come to our house! Come to our house!"
What is truly amazing about all of this is that, almost without exception, the children exclaim, "She loves me!" They don't proclaim their love for Sammie, but rather, they note Sammie's love for them.
These daily occurrences have helped me to understand more fully the words of the Apostle John who wrote of Jesus Christ, "We love him, because he first loved us" (1st John 4:19). Jesus' every action was dictated by his love for us, his willingness to show the way and open the doors that lead us back to our heavenly home. It is because of his love for us that he was willing to take upon himself the pain of our sorrows and the burden of our sins.
Superheroes aren't afraid of love or of loving, but their love is not necessarily brazen. They are willing to make the first effort to extend themselves to others, but they don't demand others' love in return. They know that love has the power to break down the barriers that separate us from one another and to promote unity, and will patiently continue to extend their love until the recipient is able to respond. As John wrote in the previous verse, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear ... " (1st John 4:18) Pure, unconditional love is never self-serving, but benefits all how are exposed to it. Superheroes offer that kind of love.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Honesty
Honesty is an interesting thing... we show our honesty or lack thereof in all aspects of our lives.
Yesterday I was involved in a conversation where someone made the comment that most people would never dream of stealing something from a store, but that they may not think twice about not returning a library book. Isn't keeping something that belongs to someone else, even a library, the same as stealing?
There was a snow storm in November. I had taken the long way home because the roads were so slick. Just as I turned onto my own street, my car started to fishtail and it did a slow curving slide. When the car came to a stop, I had hit the last few inches of a little red pickup. I didn't really see any damage to the pickup, but I crimped the hood of my own car and there was a little red paint on the headlight on the driver's side of my car. I hurriedly ran to the house and knocked on the door. No one was home. These were not neighbors that I knew. No one was on the street. No one saw me hit the pickup.
I had groceries in the car and no paper to write a note, so I drove the block to my house, unloaded the car and quickly dashed off a note. Then I went back to the house on the corner, knocked on the door again, and finally just taped my note to the door because there was still no answer.
On my way back home, I stopped at a neighbor's house. The man was shoveling snow and I knew he was a state highway patrolman and could tell me what to do. He advised me to call the city police department on their non-emergency line. That is exactly what I did the moment I got home. An hour or two later, a policeman came to my house, listened to my story and wrote a report. He looked at my car and then we both went down the street to look at the pickup. Still no one was home. When we left, he had also left a note on the door. Over the next week or so, he continued to try to contact the people who lived in that house on the corner.
Later that day I related the story to a couple of neighbor girls. They know me quite well. After I had told about leaving the note and "confessing" about what happened, the younger girl asked "Why would you want to do that?" What she was really asking was why I would deliberately put myself into a position where I might be punished for what I had done, even if it was an accident. From my perspective, however, it was a lot less difficult to confess and pay the price (whatever it might be) for what I had done, than to live with the worry that someone might have seen me-- and called the police or told the neighbors. If I had not been honest to begin with, the penalty for hitting the pickup could have resulted in my being arrested or having to pay a big fine.
I know someone who smokes cigarettes, but who tries to hide it from everyone. He thinks he does it in private where people can't see. Sometimes he changes his shirt or his clothes after smoking, thinking that people won't notice the smell of cigarette smoke on his clothing. Breath mints have never done a very good job of disguising the bad breath that comes with smoking. Ultimately, however, which is worse-- smoking cigarettes or the "cover up", the lying that takes place when one pretends to be something that one isn't. I think people-- myself included-- are more willing to forgive someone who is honest about their bad habits, particularly when they show a desire to repent, to overcome their bad habit, even if they struggle to do so. It's a lot harder to overcome something if you are spending all of your time trying to hide it, pretending that the problem doesn't exist.
Superheroes understand the value of honesty in every aspect of their lives. They understand that trust must exist between themselves and others-- and trust is built on honesty. Without that trust, when the time of crisis comes, the people who need to be saved won't believe what the superhero says or that he/she is able to save them. Superheroes do their best to be honest, knowing that the consequences for dishonesty are always worse than the consequences of being honest. In my case, the owners of the red pickup never contacted me. The policeman let me know that he had tried several times to contact them and they never called him either. His report was on file, but that I was not responsible for anything else. My conscience is clear.
Yesterday I was involved in a conversation where someone made the comment that most people would never dream of stealing something from a store, but that they may not think twice about not returning a library book. Isn't keeping something that belongs to someone else, even a library, the same as stealing?
There was a snow storm in November. I had taken the long way home because the roads were so slick. Just as I turned onto my own street, my car started to fishtail and it did a slow curving slide. When the car came to a stop, I had hit the last few inches of a little red pickup. I didn't really see any damage to the pickup, but I crimped the hood of my own car and there was a little red paint on the headlight on the driver's side of my car. I hurriedly ran to the house and knocked on the door. No one was home. These were not neighbors that I knew. No one was on the street. No one saw me hit the pickup.
I had groceries in the car and no paper to write a note, so I drove the block to my house, unloaded the car and quickly dashed off a note. Then I went back to the house on the corner, knocked on the door again, and finally just taped my note to the door because there was still no answer.
On my way back home, I stopped at a neighbor's house. The man was shoveling snow and I knew he was a state highway patrolman and could tell me what to do. He advised me to call the city police department on their non-emergency line. That is exactly what I did the moment I got home. An hour or two later, a policeman came to my house, listened to my story and wrote a report. He looked at my car and then we both went down the street to look at the pickup. Still no one was home. When we left, he had also left a note on the door. Over the next week or so, he continued to try to contact the people who lived in that house on the corner.
Later that day I related the story to a couple of neighbor girls. They know me quite well. After I had told about leaving the note and "confessing" about what happened, the younger girl asked "Why would you want to do that?" What she was really asking was why I would deliberately put myself into a position where I might be punished for what I had done, even if it was an accident. From my perspective, however, it was a lot less difficult to confess and pay the price (whatever it might be) for what I had done, than to live with the worry that someone might have seen me-- and called the police or told the neighbors. If I had not been honest to begin with, the penalty for hitting the pickup could have resulted in my being arrested or having to pay a big fine.
I know someone who smokes cigarettes, but who tries to hide it from everyone. He thinks he does it in private where people can't see. Sometimes he changes his shirt or his clothes after smoking, thinking that people won't notice the smell of cigarette smoke on his clothing. Breath mints have never done a very good job of disguising the bad breath that comes with smoking. Ultimately, however, which is worse-- smoking cigarettes or the "cover up", the lying that takes place when one pretends to be something that one isn't. I think people-- myself included-- are more willing to forgive someone who is honest about their bad habits, particularly when they show a desire to repent, to overcome their bad habit, even if they struggle to do so. It's a lot harder to overcome something if you are spending all of your time trying to hide it, pretending that the problem doesn't exist.
Superheroes understand the value of honesty in every aspect of their lives. They understand that trust must exist between themselves and others-- and trust is built on honesty. Without that trust, when the time of crisis comes, the people who need to be saved won't believe what the superhero says or that he/she is able to save them. Superheroes do their best to be honest, knowing that the consequences for dishonesty are always worse than the consequences of being honest. In my case, the owners of the red pickup never contacted me. The policeman let me know that he had tried several times to contact them and they never called him either. His report was on file, but that I was not responsible for anything else. My conscience is clear.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
A day in the life...
Superheroes must have some time management secrets-- otherwise, how could they cram all of their superhero activities into a single day and still have time for their alterego selves to hold a job and have a personal life. I just wish that they would share these secrets with the rest of us.
I started this blog with the intention of writing every single day or at least 5 times a week. A week later I bought a dog and find that I'm lucky to get the newspaper and my scriptures read during the 6 hours between the moment I get home and the time I go to bed. Since Mom usually fixes dinner, I generally take care of the dishes and clean up. It's a challenge to even squeeze out the few minutes needed to complete that task.
We've learned that we ignore the puppy at our own peril. Sammie has a curiosity that knows no bounds. We've started closing doors that we used to leave open. We've had to baby-proof the house, i.e., put things at levels that the puppy can't reach. If we don't watch her every minute, she's apt to poop on the floor instead of outside. We've learned her basic schedule, but she's not a little robot and is apt to have "accidents."
When she wants to play, she doesn't like to play alone. We have socks and chew toys and teething toys and cardboard boxes that are designated as her playthings. If we don't keep her mouth occupied, there's a good chance that she'll nip us to get our attention.
I'm not a complete moron when it comes to time management. I've attended classes that taught me to set priorities and to take care of the "big" things first and then fill in the leftover spaces with smaller things. I guess puppies truly are like children-- and they qualify as a high priority. I'm hoping that life will get easier as Sammie learns the rules and chooses to keep them. It's all part of training the "little ones" in our lives.
In the meantime, I'm open for suggestions!
I started this blog with the intention of writing every single day or at least 5 times a week. A week later I bought a dog and find that I'm lucky to get the newspaper and my scriptures read during the 6 hours between the moment I get home and the time I go to bed. Since Mom usually fixes dinner, I generally take care of the dishes and clean up. It's a challenge to even squeeze out the few minutes needed to complete that task.
We've learned that we ignore the puppy at our own peril. Sammie has a curiosity that knows no bounds. We've started closing doors that we used to leave open. We've had to baby-proof the house, i.e., put things at levels that the puppy can't reach. If we don't watch her every minute, she's apt to poop on the floor instead of outside. We've learned her basic schedule, but she's not a little robot and is apt to have "accidents."
When she wants to play, she doesn't like to play alone. We have socks and chew toys and teething toys and cardboard boxes that are designated as her playthings. If we don't keep her mouth occupied, there's a good chance that she'll nip us to get our attention.
I'm not a complete moron when it comes to time management. I've attended classes that taught me to set priorities and to take care of the "big" things first and then fill in the leftover spaces with smaller things. I guess puppies truly are like children-- and they qualify as a high priority. I'm hoping that life will get easier as Sammie learns the rules and chooses to keep them. It's all part of training the "little ones" in our lives.
In the meantime, I'm open for suggestions!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Looking Good vs. Being Good
Superheroes know the difference between looking good, being good and doing good. They know that "looking good" is the easiest of the three because it focuses on the surface and requires no real change. But the satisfaction derived from looking good is precarious and doesn’t last very long.
"Looking good" focuses on the moment. He/she only cares about how they appear on the outside. "Looking good" just wants everyone's attention and will do whatever it takes to get it. It means being the prettiest or most handsome, wearing the coolest clothes, driving the hottest car, living in the fanciest house. The problem is that looks and fashion change. Today’s hottest fashion won’t be so desirable tomorrow; it will be boring. Even worse, there is always the fear that someone else is going to come along who is prettier, has nicer clothes or better stuff.
At work or school, “looking good” defines success as making more money and having the most prestigious job title and office. “Looking good” doesn’t care how they acquire those things; the less effort the better. But “looking good” is always checking over their shoulder, scoping out the competition, to see if someone else is there to threaten their position.
When “looking good” thinks someone might be stealing their limelight, he/she has to do something to get the attention back. They spend their time and money hunting for more exotic clothes, plastic surgery to change their looks, fancier cars and houses. But the fear that they might be fading from center stage remains; it pushes them to more and more extreme looks and actions. In many respects, the economic crisis everyone talks about is the result of “looking good” instead of “being good” and making the best decisions. People bought houses and clothes and stuff that they couldn’t afford, relying on credit cards to finance living beyond their means. Businesses did the same thing, minimizing or outright ignoring the risks, as long as they could make their annual report look good.
Superheroes know that “being good” may not garner the most attention, but “being good” is ALWAYS the safest and most satisfying choice. “Being good” means people pay attention, not because “Being good” is the most noticeable, but because of how they feel when they hang out with “Being good.” “Being good” cares about others. “Being good” never has to worry that someone is going to discover that they really aren’t the prettiest or the richest. “Being good” is never threatened that someone else might steal the limelight or that others won’t think they are cool. “Being good” has a soul-deep sense of peace at who they are and what they are. They know that they can stand confident in the “presence of God”—and, if you can stand confident before Him, you can stand confident before anyone and in any situation! Lastly, Superheroes know that if they are focused on “being good” that “doing good” will follow—and, “doing good” is all part of saving the world.
"Looking good" focuses on the moment. He/she only cares about how they appear on the outside. "Looking good" just wants everyone's attention and will do whatever it takes to get it. It means being the prettiest or most handsome, wearing the coolest clothes, driving the hottest car, living in the fanciest house. The problem is that looks and fashion change. Today’s hottest fashion won’t be so desirable tomorrow; it will be boring. Even worse, there is always the fear that someone else is going to come along who is prettier, has nicer clothes or better stuff.
At work or school, “looking good” defines success as making more money and having the most prestigious job title and office. “Looking good” doesn’t care how they acquire those things; the less effort the better. But “looking good” is always checking over their shoulder, scoping out the competition, to see if someone else is there to threaten their position.
When “looking good” thinks someone might be stealing their limelight, he/she has to do something to get the attention back. They spend their time and money hunting for more exotic clothes, plastic surgery to change their looks, fancier cars and houses. But the fear that they might be fading from center stage remains; it pushes them to more and more extreme looks and actions. In many respects, the economic crisis everyone talks about is the result of “looking good” instead of “being good” and making the best decisions. People bought houses and clothes and stuff that they couldn’t afford, relying on credit cards to finance living beyond their means. Businesses did the same thing, minimizing or outright ignoring the risks, as long as they could make their annual report look good.
Superheroes know that “being good” may not garner the most attention, but “being good” is ALWAYS the safest and most satisfying choice. “Being good” means people pay attention, not because “Being good” is the most noticeable, but because of how they feel when they hang out with “Being good.” “Being good” cares about others. “Being good” never has to worry that someone is going to discover that they really aren’t the prettiest or the richest. “Being good” is never threatened that someone else might steal the limelight or that others won’t think they are cool. “Being good” has a soul-deep sense of peace at who they are and what they are. They know that they can stand confident in the “presence of God”—and, if you can stand confident before Him, you can stand confident before anyone and in any situation! Lastly, Superheroes know that if they are focused on “being good” that “doing good” will follow—and, “doing good” is all part of saving the world.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Straying
Little Samantha Dustbunny is curious. She has begun to realize that the world is larger than just the front yard. She has explored the side yards and part of the backyard.When she first came to live with us, she stuck close to our feet. With each passing day, however, her comfort zone has expanded. She has crossed the street and explored my neighbors' yards. I follow her, plastic bag in hand-- but she thinks it's fun to keep 10 or 15 or 20 feet ahead of me.
Sammie has no real experience with danger and tragedy. She has ridden inside a car, but there is no way to make her understand that cars are dangerous. She is so tiny that drivers might not see her. If she were to wander off too far, I fear that she might get lost and not be able to find her way home. She is curious and, like most babies, has no concept of boundaries. There are so many interesting things to discover!
We've tried a harness and leash. The problem is that the harness is the smallest we could find, but it's still too big for her. She chews on both. She doesn't understand that they are intended to keep her safe. We are attempting to teach her to come when we call by giving her puppy treats when she comes.
The challenge is to teach Sammie caution, yet not to be overwhelmed by fear.
Superheroes are not afraid to take action, but they learn to assess new situations with caution. Saving the world demands that they do something; they have to try in order to succeed. Superheroes also learn how to assess situations. They know that some things are clearly dangerous to themselves and to others. They avoid these. While they may stay clear themselves, they call a warning voice to others to help them get out of danger. But, superheroes also know that fear must be conquered or it will paralyze us, keeping us away from good things in life. Superheroes aren't afraid to try conquering a math problem or shooting a basket or saying hello to the new kid at school. They know they dont' have to be perfect at something to find joy in it. Superheroes understand the value of "limited" success, that the fun may come in the attempt. It can be fun to laugh about the failures, which makes the joy of success all the sweeter.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Superhero mathematics
When it comes to saving the world, Superheroes don't count the way regular people do.
When doing a good deed, regular people count only the people they can see. If they were to stop a runaway bus that had 30 riders, they would say, "I saved 30 people today."
Sometimes regular people who give service don't even count people. Instead they count the frequency with which their service was given. They don't think, "I saved 50 people from hunger today." They say, "I served 50 meals today." Counting meals or things devalues the service. Service is counted by the number of people who are influenced by that act of kindness, not just the ones who received the service.
Superheroes don't count bodies or things. They count everyone whose life will ever touch the people saved in a single act of service. One person is not just one person. When a single individual is helped along the road of life-- the number helped is not "one." Superheroes know that their "count" only starts with that one person. If that person has children, superheroes know that their kindness is extended to those children-- and to the children's children and the children's children's children. If that one person had friends, the act of service may influence the lives of those friends. And the friends' children and the friends' children's children. The circle grows to include the children's friends and the friends' friends and on and on.
Superheroes know that doing good spreads like the ripples in a pond from the point of impact, spreading out to people and places that they cannot see. One good deed may change the lives of hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions of people-- from one generation to the next and then to still another.
Kindness and tiny acts of service are not counted using simple arithmetic where one plus one equals two. Superheroes understand that service is counted exponentially-- 10 times 10 times 10 times 10 and on into infinity.
Regular people who are out to save the world look for extraordinary circumstances-- they think that one has to save LOTS of people to make a difference. Superheroes know that one quiet act of service extended during a single person's most desperate hour can make a difference to generations of people.
That's why superheroes just go out there and do good. It isn't necessary to count people or things-- the counting will take care of itself.
When doing a good deed, regular people count only the people they can see. If they were to stop a runaway bus that had 30 riders, they would say, "I saved 30 people today."
Sometimes regular people who give service don't even count people. Instead they count the frequency with which their service was given. They don't think, "I saved 50 people from hunger today." They say, "I served 50 meals today." Counting meals or things devalues the service. Service is counted by the number of people who are influenced by that act of kindness, not just the ones who received the service.
Superheroes don't count bodies or things. They count everyone whose life will ever touch the people saved in a single act of service. One person is not just one person. When a single individual is helped along the road of life-- the number helped is not "one." Superheroes know that their "count" only starts with that one person. If that person has children, superheroes know that their kindness is extended to those children-- and to the children's children and the children's children's children. If that one person had friends, the act of service may influence the lives of those friends. And the friends' children and the friends' children's children. The circle grows to include the children's friends and the friends' friends and on and on.
Superheroes know that doing good spreads like the ripples in a pond from the point of impact, spreading out to people and places that they cannot see. One good deed may change the lives of hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions of people-- from one generation to the next and then to still another.
Kindness and tiny acts of service are not counted using simple arithmetic where one plus one equals two. Superheroes understand that service is counted exponentially-- 10 times 10 times 10 times 10 and on into infinity.
Regular people who are out to save the world look for extraordinary circumstances-- they think that one has to save LOTS of people to make a difference. Superheroes know that one quiet act of service extended during a single person's most desperate hour can make a difference to generations of people.
That's why superheroes just go out there and do good. It isn't necessary to count people or things-- the counting will take care of itself.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Puppy parenthood
Parenthood is not for sissies! This applies to parenting puppies as well as people.
Part of a parent's job is to help their child learn how to get along with others. That is also true when one is parenting a puppy. The rules are pretty much the same. Puppies may not wear diapers, but they still have to learn a few bathroom rules-- like "we" (meaning dogs) don't go potty in the house. They also have to learn not to bite or nip at others, which is kind of hard because they explore the world by using their mouth. When they get excited, they can't go ballistic, but have to learn how to control themselves. We don't jump on or push others.
As the parent, it's my job to help Sammie learn these things. Even puppies have their equivalent of "time out." The guidebooks instruct that when she nips at me, I'm supposed to say "Ouch" in a very loud voice and to walk away from her and leave her alone for a few minutes until she can calm down.
Superheroes are not renegades. They know how to get along with other people. Think about it... have you ever seen Superman or Spiderman or any of the other great superheroes be rudc to others? No. Even when disguise as their alteregos, Clark Kent or Peter Parker, etc., they do their very best to behave appropriately. Someone had to show them how to behave and how to interact with others-- they had parents and other people who served as mentors to them to show them the way.
Even adults have mentors. When they are new to a situation or environment, these are the people who teach them the "unwritten" rules they need to know to succeed. Superheroes understand the value of a good mentor. They look carefully at the people around them and find the person with the best attitude, the one who gets along best with everyone, and the ones who are the most productive and successful at what they do. Two of the most important words in the English language are "Teach me." And superheroes aren't afraid to ask.
Part of a parent's job is to help their child learn how to get along with others. That is also true when one is parenting a puppy. The rules are pretty much the same. Puppies may not wear diapers, but they still have to learn a few bathroom rules-- like "we" (meaning dogs) don't go potty in the house. They also have to learn not to bite or nip at others, which is kind of hard because they explore the world by using their mouth. When they get excited, they can't go ballistic, but have to learn how to control themselves. We don't jump on or push others.
As the parent, it's my job to help Sammie learn these things. Even puppies have their equivalent of "time out." The guidebooks instruct that when she nips at me, I'm supposed to say "Ouch" in a very loud voice and to walk away from her and leave her alone for a few minutes until she can calm down.
Superheroes are not renegades. They know how to get along with other people. Think about it... have you ever seen Superman or Spiderman or any of the other great superheroes be rudc to others? No. Even when disguise as their alteregos, Clark Kent or Peter Parker, etc., they do their very best to behave appropriately. Someone had to show them how to behave and how to interact with others-- they had parents and other people who served as mentors to them to show them the way.
Even adults have mentors. When they are new to a situation or environment, these are the people who teach them the "unwritten" rules they need to know to succeed. Superheroes understand the value of a good mentor. They look carefully at the people around them and find the person with the best attitude, the one who gets along best with everyone, and the ones who are the most productive and successful at what they do. Two of the most important words in the English language are "Teach me." And superheroes aren't afraid to ask.
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